Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard.
Also starring Don knotts.
Well, what happened, fletch?
The old truck finally poop out?
No.
Well, what happened, fletch?
Was it an accident?
Yeah.
I didn't exactly figure
you was mixing salad here
in the middle of the highway.
How'd it happen?
Whoosh!
Sideswiped, huh?
Yeah.
Reckless driver, huh?
You know who done it?
No.
What kind of car was it?
White.
Did you notice who was driving?
Yup.
You ever seen him before?
No.
Dad-burn it. If you don't start
stringin' a few words together,
we're gonna be here till supper time.
I ain't even had my lunch yet.
How'd it happen?
Young squirt come tearing by here
in one of them newfangled convertible jobs.
Drove me clean off into the ditch.
I'd just like to get my hands on his neck
for about two seconds.
I'd sure show him what for.
Uh-huh. Better rest awhile, fletch.
You must be all wrung out from all that jabbering.
Hi, there, young fella.
Hi.
Nice car.
Thanks.
Well, if, uh, you officers will excuse me,
I'm going to cut out.
I just, uh, stopped to check my tires.
You, uh...
You always drive around
with celery in your car?
I happen to like celery.
That's nice.
Now all you have to do is sideswipe a salt truck
you'll be all set, won't you?
Well, that's pretty sharp for a country cop.
Much obliged.
Don't do that.
Let's run him in, Andy.
You take him. I'll take charge of the crime car.
Crime car?!
I've got to be in Miami by...
If it's not too much trouble,
may I see your driver's license?
This is a real drag.
I promise not to get it dirty.
Let's have it.
"Ronald Bailey. 19."
Kind of young to go tearing around the country
in one of these speed wagons running trucks off the road,
ain't it?
He wasn't off the road.
Look, what's it going to take
to square with old MacDonald, huh?
How much?
Well, come on.
How much... 50, 100 bucks?
Well, come on. I want to get going.
Leaving the scene of an accident is a serious offense.
There could've been somebody hurt in that truck.
Nobody was hurt, and nobody is going to be hurt
if we just drop the whole thing.
Wait. What was that
you said about "nobody is gonna be hurt"?
Sheriff...
Maybe I better straighten you out.
Like it says right there on the license:
My name is Bailey.
My father is John judson Bailey.
You ha heard of him.
Yeah. We've heard of him.
Well, then, I guess you know that my dad can have
just about anything he wants in this state,
including, uh, that junior g-man badge of yours.
Nevertheless, I'm holding you
for leaving the scene of an accident.
Circuit judge will be by in a few days.
You can present your case then.
I'm afraid we're gonna have to detain you till then.
Jail? What about my father?
Oh, he can come see you anytime.
Visiting hours are from 2:00 to 4:00.
What do you mean you can't find my father?
Well, call dad's attorney!
Tell him I'm... I'm in some hokey-pokey jail.
I don't know!
Some one-horse town called mayberry.
Well, you tell him to get down here quick.
There you go.
Hi, young fella.
Barney gone already, huh?
Well... come on.
Where are we going?
Fishin'.
What?
I promised my young 'un
I'd take him fishin'.
Barney's watching bicycles
at the movie house
and I got nobody to stay here,
so you'll have to go with us.
What if I don't want to go?
Well, I'm afraid you got no choice in the matter.
Let's go.
Oh, and, uh, I know
you won't try anything foolish
like trying to get away?
Oh, don't you worry
about me trying to get away.
Good.
Yeah. I don't want to miss the fun
when my dad sends one of his men down here
to straighten you out.
Come on.
I got one!
Play him, ope, play him.
I think he's playing me, paw.
Come on. Reel him in. Go on.
You got him, you got him.
The other way. That's right.
Reel him in, reel him in...
Whoa!
A whopper.
Look at that... Wow! Look at him.
He's fightin', too, ain't he?
Boy, he's a monster.
Ain't he though? Phew!
Boy. You know what?
Maybe we'd better throw him back,
'cause I don't believe
that we've got a frying pan that big.
Come on, paw.
Boy. Here. Hold my pole
while I bait my young 'un's line.
I believe that's the biggest fish you ever caught.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah. It was big.
Won't he be good to eat?
But I think we ought to save it
for our sunday dinner.
You think so?
There you go.
Hey, ope, how about a sandwich?
I believe I will.
All right. Let's all have one.
Let's see what aunt bee's fixed us here.
Let's see what this is.
Oh, ham. Ham.
Mmm-mmm. Oh, boy.
Hey, hey, I think I got something.
That ain't no
little ordinary catfish.
Don't let him get away!
Play him! Play him!
Let's play him. Come on.
Oh, look at that.
You want him?
Let me have it, let me have it.
Look at that. He no more got his line in the water
'fore he caught hisself a fish.
Takes you longer than that, paw.
Sure does. Sometimes I'll sit as much as half a day
without even a nibble.
Yeah?
You already got a nice one.
And a pretty good size one, too, huh, paw?
You'd better know it.
You're a better man than I am.
What's the matter?
Oh, you think you're real cute, don't you, sheriff?
How's that?
Well, come on. I'm wise.
You think you can butter me up...
Make me feel real good...
And I'll ask my dad to go easy on you.
Well, it won't work, so just forget it!
How do you like that?
You just let him get away.
Yup. I'm afraid the fish ain't
the only one that got away.
Hey, cut that racket out, will ya?
I said quiet!
Quiet!
For Pete's sake.
How's a person supposed to get any sleep around here
with that gosh awful racket going on?
Take it easy, deputy.
I was just trying to amuse myself.
I didn't know I was going to be stuck in some hick jail
on a Saturday night.
Well, that's just too bad about you,
but it just so happens it's 10:30
and respectable folks are home in bed
and asleep by now, so go to sleep!
Hey, this town really swings, doesn't it, deputy?
How's that?
Doesn't anybody in this town like to swing?
'Course. We got lots of swings.
We just don't use 'em at night.
Hey, what are you doing in my cell?
Your cell?
That's right.
That's been my cell every Saturday night
for the past umpteen years.
Now will you kindly get out?
Are you kidding me?
I am not kidding you
and if you don't remove yourself,
I'm going to call a policeman.
This is ridiculous.
Okay, wise guy.
Police! Police! Police!
Police! Police!
What's going on out...?
Oh, Otis, it's you.
You have to make so much racket
when you come in?
Officer, arrest this man.
What?
He's trespassing on my property.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
A citizen's property's got to be protected
against prowlers and trespassers.
That's the law.
Otis, will you just pipe down
and go to sleep in that other cell?
I just can't sleep in a strange room.
All right.
Let's get some sleep around here.
Come on, boy. Let's put your things in that other cell.
Oh, now, just a minute!
You mean to tell me
that you intend to accommodate this guy
and give him any cell he wants?
Well, he's an old customer.
I suppose it's no more than right.
Get that light, will ya?
Oh, they'll never believe this when I tell 'em.
Uh, never believe what?
I have never seen such a bunch of kooks in my whole life.
Yeah?
Well, they won't take money when I offer it to them.
You treat a drunk like somebody important...
Oh, man, is this a laugh.
Yeah, well, you'll be laughing
out of the other side of your mouth
when you go to answerin' that charge of reckless drivin'.
You'll see about that.
Oh, Otis.
Hey, give me a hand here.
All right, now, this is it!
I don't want no more disturbance out here, you understand?
It's lights out!
All right. Let's try and get some sleep around here.
Barney. Barney!
Barney. Barney?
What is it, Otis?
I can't get to sleep.
All right.
Oh, that Andy gump.
Morning, Barn.
Oh, morning, and.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
All set?
Yeah. All set.
Okay. Let's go, young fella.
What are you doing?
We're closing.
You're what?
We're closing.
We always close on sunday.
You're closing the jail?
That's right.
Well, where are we going?
We're going home to eat dinner.
Aunt bee's fixing sunday dinner.
And you always take the prisoners with you?
Mm-hmm.
You're taking him, too?
If he wants to go.
I doubt he slept enough.
Hey, Otis? Otis.
Otis? Wake up. Wake up, Otis.
We're going home and eat dinner.
You want to come?
Oh, no thanks, Andy.
I think I'll stay; Get a little more shut-eye.
After a while, I want to wash out a few things
and write some letters.
Okay. Suit yourself.
Come on.
Just a minute, sheriff.
Hmm?
I got a call in to my father.
He'll try and reach me.
He won't be able to find me.
Oh, that's right.
Otis will take a message, won't you, Otis?
Yeah.
Be sure and take any other messages.
All right. Okay.
And be sure the lights are out.
Okay.
Okay, and-and lock up.
Yeah, yeah.
And be sure all the windows are closed.
Okay, okay.
Okay. Bye, Otis. Bye.
See you next Saturday night.
Have a nice dinner.
We'll say hello to aunt bee for you.
You do that, yes.
I thought they'd never leave.
Sure was good to eat, aunt bee.
Oh, was it ever.
Oh, it was good, if I do say so myself.
Mm-hmm.
But you didn't have to stuff yourselves.
Couldn't help it, couldn't help it.
Look at that.
Corporation's really growing, isn't it?
Ron, did you enjoy
your dinner?
Oh, yes, ma'am. It was fine.
Well, I think I'll get the ice cream freezer.
Oh, yeah. We want to make some ice cream.
Barney, give me a hand.
You can buy it in the store.
What do you want to make it for?
Didn't you ever eat any homemade ice cream?
No.
Well, you're in for a treat.
Yeah.
Paw?
Hmm?
You in a good mood?
Yeah. Why?
If I tell you somethin',
would you promise not to get mad?
Well, that all depends.
What is it?
Well, it ain't hardly worth mentionin',
but I think I better mention it.
You know that ol' window on Mrs. Purdy's back door?
Yeah.
Someone threw a ball, and busted it.
Hmm.
Would you by any chance be that someone?
Are you mad, paw?
No. No, I'm not mad.
Promise you won't get mad.
You won't get an allowance
till that window's paid for,
okay?
Okay, paw.
Make way for the ice cream.
Oh, boy!
And strawberries to go in it.
Come on, ope.
Give him a hand, ope.
Okay, Barney.
Sheriff?
Huh?
Weren't you sort of rough on the kid?
How's that?
Well... why, why don't you bail the little fella out?
Bail him out?
Well, yeah. It's just a window.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Yeah, yeah. I guess I could,
uh, "bail him out," like you say,
but the only-only trouble with that
if, uh, if I was to do that,
why, every time he'd get in trouble,
he'd be expectin' me to come to the rescue,
don't you see?
Uh, this time it's a broken window.
Later on, it'd be something bigger
and then something bigger'n that...
Now, he's got... He's got to learn
to stand on his own two legs now.
Oh, I got to keep that young 'un straight.
Oh, excuse me. I got to help with the ice cream.
How's it going there?
Oh, great.
Opie's doing a great job.
Good. When you going to put them strawberries in?
Not till just toward the last.
Did you ever hear the one about...?
Andy?
What's up, Barney?
I believe the boy's daddy's arrived.
Oh?
Yeah. A big, black limousine just pulled up...
One of them big jobs. Yeah.
Sheriff Taylor?
Arthur harrington.
I'm j.J. Bailey's attorney.
Oh, well, glad to see you.
Hi, Mr. Harrington.
Oh, Ron... Are you all right, my boy?
I'm fine.
Good. We'll have you out of here in a matter of seconds.
Sheriff, I want to compliment you
for being so conscientious in upholding the law.
Oh, well, thank you.
The boy made a little mistake.
You taught him his lesson
and I'm sure we can let it go at that.
Sheriff, you can release him.
I'll assume full responsibility.
Oh, well, that-that's fine, Mr. Harrington,
but, uh, being a expert lawyer
you-you understand I can't just let the boy go.
I mean, there's-there's legalities and paperwork
and stuff like that.
Why, of course.
We don't mind waiting, sheriff.
How long do you think it'll take?
'Bout two days.
That's when judge Parker will be here for the trial.
I see.
And you don't think
that you could possibly see your way to...?
Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't do that. No. Uh-uh.
Well...
I was hoping we could do this the easy way.
However...
Would you come in, please?
I want to ask you a few questions, Mr. Dilbeck.
Wouldn't you say that that old truck of yours
is a traffic hazard?
And isn't it true
that you were driving on the wrong side of the road
and that the Bailey boy did not hit you?
In fact, you sideswiped his car.
Therefore, it was your fault and not his.
Isn't that true, Mr. Dilbeck?
What do you say, fletch?
Go on. Tell him it's true.
Well, sheriff, what do you say to that?
Well, I'll say I hope fletch enjoys his new truck,
'cause I got a feelin' he's gonna be a-drivin' one.
All right, Mr. Harrington, you win.
Now, just a second, Mr. Harrington.
That's not the way it happened.
Huh?
The accident was my fault.
Now, Ron, you leave this to me.
No, I'd rather not leave it to you.
Look, boy, I'm trying to help.
I know that, Mr. Harrington, but the fact is...
What are you trying to say?
Well, it-it's very difficult to put into words.
It's just that it didn't happen the way you say.
Your father will never understand this.
What can I possibly tell him?
Uh... why don't you tell Mr. Bailey
that the boy busted a window
and wants to stand on his own two legs?
You know, Andy, these young fellas, they really get me.
Huh? Oh, the way they worship the almighty dollar.
Some of them do that, all right.
Yeah, they think that big wad of dough can get them anything.
But, you know, I got a saying...
Money isn't everything.
That's your saying?
Yeah.
Tell you one thing.
That big wad of dough sure helps the fellas out
with them girls, don't it?
Now there's where you're wrong.
I can pick that phone up right now,
call juanita down at the diner for a date,
tell her right off I wasn't going to spend a nickel on her.
It wouldn't matter.
Hmm, let's see you do it.
Huh? Call juanita.
All right, I will... hold that.
Okay.
Hello, Sarah? Get me 242.
It's all a matter of technique, Andy.
It's not money.
It's being smooth, ain't it?
Juanita? Barn.
How are you?
Uh...
Uh, yeah, go ahead.
Somebody spilled some soup on the counter.
She's wiping it up.
Juanita?
Barn again. Hi, there.
Listen, I was just wondering what you're doing tonight.
Well, I don't know, I thought I'd drop by.
Oh, we could sit around for a while,
then we would go for a ride in the squad car.
Might even let you play with the sir-een.
Then we'd come back and sit around some more,
maybe play a little two-handed post office.
But the point is it'll just be you and me, all alone.
Hello
juanita?
How do you like that? We got cut off.
Let's call her back right now.
Sarah get me 242 again.
We were just cut off.
Oh
This is Andy Taylor over at the sheriff's office.
Barney was just calling you about getting on a dat
hello?
You're right.
Money ain't everything.
It just is to juanita.